Raine Thoughts

rainelai.wordpress.com

2007-03-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

This is where you will find my most recent thoughts.. =) check it out and do leave me a comment!

Raine is Back!

2007-02-15T09:03:00.000-08:00

After the long absence from my blog.. i'm back!

top 5 reasons why i was 'missing':
1. i went to Europe - UK
2. limited internet access - can u imagine living without internet access in your room? i had to camp outside the corridors seeking for networks which are often unstable or tredge out in the cold to the computer centre.. sometimes the server is down from some power failure! gosh! can u believe it?
3. i was on the road most of the time... - i visited 2 cities per week (on average) out of 4 full months in Europe. Hardly even sleep in my own hall bed most of the time.. am such an expert in making beds in hostels..
4. i actually went back to writing with a paper and pen! - started to appreciate writing on the paper and pen again~ was a refreshing switch.. writing on long haul trains in a diary can be quite fun.. totally recommended for all travelers
5. i was on facebook most of the time.. - whenever i got internet access, facebook became the platform to update.. cos UK is big on facebook! *awesome* and practically the first line u hear on a typical introduction is.. 'are you on facebook?' am still a big fan of facebook~ type 'raine lai' and u'll find me~

and last of all, i've moved to another interface! my new blog is at rainelai.wordpress.com
has been posting randomly in the past months.. but since i never 'publicised' my blog, it is virtually 'unknown'.. this is probably my third blog from my website at tripod to blogspot to wordpress... each of them mapped out how my views have matured (i would think). I'll like to keep my blog real and natural so take it with a pinch of salt! *usual disclaimers applies?*

we need more Argonauts

2006-08-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

I'm reading this great book by AnnaLee Saxenian on The New Argonauts. Can really relate to her writing and many other literature with references to Silicon Valley after being there myself. Her point on Singapore focusing our development efforts on attracting foreign investment might be true in the past but i'm sure that the government has proven to be far sighted enough quite some time ago to have started to pay attention to entrepreneurship and made a conscious effort to encourage it (which explains why we were even on this NOC programme). I do believe that this whole talent outflow issue that was a hot debate in Singapore in the past will prove otherwise in this new era with the gradual adoption among Singaporeans (hopefully) of an entrepreneurial attitude towards life. Singapore indeed need more argonauts.

Back in Silicon Valley, the 9th batch are looking at inviting her for this exciting mixer (Rainmakers) on discussing the lessons from these argonauts' journey. I hope she'll be able to make it as i'm looking forward to hear her views and boy, how I wish i was there! It looks really cool and i am definitely looking forward to catch the telecast of it (live if possible). I must say that i have to applaud them for their hard work from choosing the best speakers to getting the whole thing going. Way to go! This is a new and interesting angle to look at entreprenurship and is definitely something that most mixers have yet to discuss before. i am excited by what this might entail and will be looking forward to view the outcome. Talking about being in the forefront of technology... Silicon Valley will still be the epicentre of innovation.

Is there a lack of spontaneity in Singapore? If we were to encourage entrepreneurship successfully in Singapore, we need to create an entire ecosystem for it to grow and flourish (This i concur with San). It's not by merely funding people to start businesses or by setting up courses for people to learn how to be entrepreneurs. There are many factors that needs to be present and just by copying a Silicon Valley model will not necessarily work in Singapore. In fact, i believe it's a mindset change that needs to take place. We can't succeed overnight but with the efforts of more argonauts, i am optimistic that it will happen. I hope that the NOC alumni will play an active role in making this happen. It need not be part of a moral obligation or social responsibility as i see it but rather a natural progression of events; of connecting the dots, exploring the possibilities and realising a vision. Everyone needs to play this role consciously or subconsciously, to seize action rather than sit back and complain (which happens to be a bad habit of many). It is important to realise that this cannot be accomplished by an outstanding individual alone but rather has to be a combined effort of many, of an entire nation eventually. Only with this change in mindset will we be able to move mountains.

breakups

2006-08-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

This season seems to be a breakup season... ever since i came back i seemed to hear a couple of breakups that had happened, some rather recently in fact.

The most saddening part is that these relationships were the ones i imagined would have lasted but well, it seemed otherwise at this point in time. Some were forged since 16 or 18 (which already seemed an age so far away).. sometimes it makes me wonder how long can a relationship really last? Is it still possible to last a lifetime? Are arranged marriages necessarily 'inferior'?

Gonna be leaving for Europe in a few weeks time... for six months or less... Still a couple of things on hand to take care of and to plan for my travel around this wonderworld.. Still haven't met up with all the friends i wish to see and spend time with them. School's starting for some while others are busy with work in the corporate world... It's so easy to succumb to the pressures of Asian society and to be constantly grumbling abt ur weight.. Are asians more image conscious?

Back in Singapore

2006-07-18T03:59:00.000-07:00

I'm back!

Touched down at 1am and am glad to see my family. They've been waiting an hr plus for me at the airport.. *touched* not many pple will be willing to do that for me~ My family's the only one who send me off a year ago and pick me up this time.. except for my cousin who dropped me off last year too..

Felt strangely familiar... not much has changed it seems.. The change in weather's the most obvious one apparently, felt the humidity and heat hit me once i step out of the airport.. even though it's early in the morning. Been a while since i last sweat under the sun~ missing california and the people i left behind already..

Got some catching up and work to settle before i head off to London again.. whoa! time really flies.. few more weeks and i'll be starting on another journey.. sometimes i tink i muz be crazy.. hee~ really like travelling.. and the intensity.. keeping myself busy to block out thoughts of loneliness etc.. Was watching I not Stupid 2 on the airplane. Cried my heart out. That was such a great welcome home movie. Reminded me of so many things... Always look on the strengths than weaknesses, the good than the bad. Dun waste time dwindling on the negative stuff but focus on the positive things.. why is it tough to commend than complain? We gotta change that attitude and spare more love and care towards others.

It's not easy to avoid accusing someone of things that u deemed they've done wrong. We always assumed that by pointing out what they did wrong, it allows the person the opportunity to realise and take action. Is that true? It's not easy to swallow such comments esp if it is presented in the wrong tone. Putting ideas across effectively and to prove how strongly you felt do not necessarily equate to raising your voice, making a fuss or throwing a tantrum. Be creative and come up with a better and targeted presentation style. Most importantly, take it in your stride and allow others to make mistakes.. just like you always make mistakes yourself too. Forgive and forget, then you can truly move on.

Thank You Atrua!

2006-07-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to all the wonderful people i have met in Atrua during the period of july 2005 - july 2006:

By the time you read this, i am most likely on SIA, heading to Singapore. I am really fortunate to be here in California, to be part of Atrua, and i am grateful for that everyday that i am here. Many of you have made me felt like home and it was a great experience learning from each and everyone of you. I have grown, in so many ways (including physically) since i first landed in SFO last year. A year has passed with a twinkle of an eye and Atrua has grown in the process too. I am glad to be around to witness the transitions, happy to welcome EDH and other new members to the Atrua family and saddened to bid farewell to some.

Each and everyone of you has made an impact throughout my stay and I wish for the best for Atrua and for everyone. I wished i could have done more for Atrua (I would never have done enough) and I hope to hear news of IPO soon. It has been an amazing year and thanks for having me as part of the family, for the fun, laughter and joy we shared. For showing me the way and for making me even more excited to pursue my start-up dreams. It's a dream come true for me to be here and you are the ones that make this dream real. Hope to stay in touch and take care! Mucho Gracias!

my first shooting star

2006-07-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

Last night was an emo night. July 14th 2006 (Friday). It's my last day at work, my first time seeing a shooting star and also the day i saw some things i hate to see. I was driving along 101 up north near palo alto when a light streaked across the sky, falling in such a slow motion that i was startled, wondering what that is. When the realisation finally dawned, i had to scream and OMG! was my first reaction. This was my first shooting star that i've been wanting to see all year here in CA. Now that i've seen it, i guess it somehow completed my whole experience here. I wondered how a small event could easily brighten your whole day and similarly, another event could just kill it too. I was already saddened by the thought that i'm leaving this place by the time i got to the party, the farewell party for my dear friend who's leaving today. I was so prepared to get wasted and to have a good time, but the night turned out otherwise.

Unintentionally i saw some stuff that strangely affected me. I am a cool person (i think) and crazy as i am, i have seen how crazy things become in parties. It's nothing really but somehow, it impacted me a lot. Those pent-up feelings that i have coupled with the sadness of leaving this place juz flowed out. I am truly glad to be able to have supporting friends by my side, it's these people that prevents you from collapsing. I regard my friends and myself highly but somehow, sometimes, some things are just beyond you. No matter how hard you try, it's futile. Why then do we even bother to try?

sighz. i guess i have a truly complete experience now and i'm ready to head on home. It is time to close this chapter and move on. A new chapter awaits ahead, especially when i'm heading for London in September. I can only hope, that there are greater and better things awaiting me out there. Adios!

leaving california

2006-07-13T02:08:00.000-07:00

it's so hard to say goodbye. why do one ever need to go through that?

How does one put aside your self for others? Are we ever able to do that? To think for others, feel for them whilst you wallow in your misery. How can one open their heart, accept, forgive and let go? Everyone of us wish to be someone special in pple's eyes, someone irreplacable. Is it ever possible? Why do we then say that one takes after another? Are we that easily replaceable?

As time moves on, as life passes by, what do we become? What have we done thus far? Why bother? What have we all become? Accept that this world does not spin for you, noone in this world lives for you. Do not expect anything from anyone.. maybe that makes life easier? Why do we hold on to foolish hopes and fairy tales then? When it has never been proven true.

sigh~ give it all up gal, what matters most is that you enjoyed your short time here, live the moment and spread the joy.. dun let all those noise bother you, dun allow your negativity and goblin in your mind take away your smile. Let it go, step back and relax. It's all gonna be alright. You know that one. The world's beautiful and everything will be alllllllright (hawaiian style)...

goodbye my love, california. i'll miss you dearly, the people, the place, the beauty, the sunrise and sunset, the nature walks, the fresh smell of grass, the breathtaking views, the mountains in the background, the long drives, the beach, the sun, the rain and the snow.. you'll always be in my heart and mind.

Business School Branding

2006-06-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

Some of you might have seen the NUS Business School 'Levis Jeans' style ad which raised a lot of controversy last year. Apparently, the Business School is back with new ads..

http://www.bschool.nus.edu.sg/Media/video/NUS45s.mpg
http://www.bschool.nus.edu.sg/Media/video/NUS_Mail45sEng.mpg

I recalled last year back in Singapore i saw the 'levis' ad on tv and apparently there was a huge hoo-ha over that. I talked to the people involved and got to know the thinking behind the ad and it's actually more than what meets the eye. Guess not everyone who have seen the ad will have gotten the meaning behind the analogy of using levis jeans to project a 'never grow out of style', dependent characteristic. Now, they're employing a different positioning which i'm not exactly sure if that will dilute the branding efforts right from the start.

Applause for the effort but instead of changing positioning year to year, project one strong image and stick with it. That way, all these advertising and marketing efforts will pay off rather than confuse the viewers about what exactly does NUS Business School stands for. I do love the school and i am sure that it can and will be a world-class institution.

So what have you learnt?

2006-06-02T01:15:00.000-07:00

It was great to get to meet up with the people who are behind this amazing programme (NUS Overseas College) and to share ideas and feedbacks. It's also cool to know that they are open to hear from us and are constantly working on improving the program.

So what will i say to the juniors? (I was asked)

1. Buy your car wisely. That is a critical part that might affect your experience here. On hindsight, renting tog might be a better off option if you take into account the untangible stuff.

2. Be open to changes. Silicon Valley is a place full of changes, dynamism and fun. Be flexible and always keep an open mind. Accept changes as a way of life and learn to deal with it. (Sh*t happens lots of time but never restrict your thinking, think multiple paths. It's all in the mind.)

3. Build on your strengths. Focus on enhancing your strengths rather than looking for your weakness. What might seem like a weakness to someone could be a hidden strength. Learn to be aware of your strengths and leverage them. (I learnt this from someone + some book)

Additional 'behind-the-scenes' answer:

4. Have fun and never lose your faith. Never lose sight of the shore and keep your vision vivid and alive everyday.

5. Respect and accept , recognise and acknowledge. Learn as much as you can from people. It's the people you meet that shape your experience.

6. Just do it. Maximise the limited time that you have. Don't ever live to regret.

7. It's a beautiful day outside. Get out and enjoy the sun! Give yourself a break from time to time to travel, take a walk, get intoxicated with alcohol, party, have fun, recharge, re-energise, replenish and restart.

*These are juz 7 things that came to mind.. there's many many more things that i have learnt (conciously and unconciously) but no matter how much i say here, u gotta experience it yourself to understand and concur.

Which part of the rollercoaster ride are u in?

2006-05-02T03:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i view this past year in the valley like a rollercoaster ride. Upswings, downturns, 360 deg revolutions and unexpected turns.. Feels like a blind-folded ride where you never know which point of the ride you are exactly in and when it might truly come to a stop. Will it ever end? Do you even want it to end?

As the year draw towards a close i have this overwhelming sense of lingering and sadness.. Is this what people coined as a sense of belonging? It is this place that showed me how life is really like, away from the shelter and out in the sunny california. A dream so real, a world so surreal..

The amount of turmoil one survives through here is amazing and the amount of sh*t you encounter too. It's tough to keep your head clear admist these confusion and as you look back at how much people around you and yourself grow from the day you touched down in California to the impending day of departure, it is truly a ride of a lifetime.

I'll miss California so dearly and i'm sure each and every pieces of learning from all the people and encounters i gather along my journey will guide me through my life.

It's the night before the elections. So much is running through my mind as i flashback to the elections a year ago. How would things have turned out otherwise?

There's always a portion of uncertainty that you have to live with, i guess. But I wish people will be a bit more daring to breakthrough their self-limiting thoughts and boundaries. To attempt the unthinkable, unimaginable and unbelievable. It is these people who will make a difference to the world.

I wished more people from the 9th batch would have stepped up and not be afraid to run for places that they wish to make a difference to. Give it a shot. There's nothing to lose and much to gain. Elections should give you a pretty good picture of the crude truth? Maybe. However it may turn out, whatever it may be, just don't live to regret that you never tried, never attempted such that you'll never know how it's really like.

I am really grateful to everyone i met along the way who have been part of my journey, helping me in one way or the other. I often wished i could be more astute and emerge a better person. I'm still learning, sometimes the hard way but nevertheless strong and determined to make it through. Just like how many times i have fell down badly on the slopes but picked myself up again. Just like how i managed to master the turns i didn't think that i could do on my snowboard.

No matter how hard and how many times i might fall along the way, i am sure that i can pick myself up every single time and continue to surge forward again. It is this strong resistance that drives me through. Nothing can and will be able to put you down. It is afterall, in your perception, your mind. Never allow yourself to let anyone or any encounters to put you down. Don't assume when you don't know, ask. Be strong, my dear and life will eventually unveil the hidden treasures awaiting for you at the end of the rainbow. =)

Let it go

2006-04-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

There are some things i life that you wish you'll own or possess.. some things that you wish belong exclusively to urself, just like u'll feel uneasy seeing some1 wearing the same clothes, carrying the same bag as you.. but does it realli matter if some1 has the exact same thing as yours? Will you be able to share your possessions with others? Do you really possess anything at all? What truly belongs to you? How will you know if it really belongs to you?

I may have an endless stream of questions but who can provide me with the answers? Is there even answers when there's no defined right or wrong? If you believe in free will of the human spirit and enjoy freedom yourself, you have to practise the same honour code and allow others free reign. It's not easy to let it go, let things flow, let nature take course, let people decide for themselves... many a time people like to make it 'compulsory', exert pressure on others to do things that you think they should do (be it for their own good or not).. but ain't it better if some1 voluntarily take their own initiative to get things going? Dun you trust in their ability to do so? Why do we need 'managers'? Can we allow room for people to have their own privacy?

Let yourself be loved. In the pursuit of happiness, we are often too afraid to give and receive love. When are we able to express freely our emotions? Why is there a need to hide and put it away?

Let it go. Open your heart and let it go.

Do you dare to try?

2006-04-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

every once in a while, we might face a series of unfortunate events that make us less confident of ourselves, less sure of wat tmr brings (how things might turn out), less faith in the world n even in pple dear to us.. n when that kicks in, it forms a viscious cycle that only spiral downwards until u hit rock bottom (given that it's not a black hole) or get a tug somewhere that draw us out of tis trap.

Who can give you that tug when you need it? Lucky ones may have angels watching over you, friends to give you that necessary tug.. but each of us have that self-responsibility to be able to DIY.

How can you avoid this trap?

Believe in the impossible? that doesn't sound realistic.
Have hope in life? that doesn't look realistic given the perspective of the fallen.
How can one ever think positive when the view ahead looks so bleak and the past have proven so too?
Can you ever trust someone who have hurt you before?
Will you be able to open up your heart again admist the wounds that have yet healed?
Do you, even have a choice?

Yes. You have to do the impossible. You'll be amazed by how much power you have within yourself. You have to 'grab life by its balls' and never give up trying. Cultivate the act of 'trying' as a habit.

here's wat i said:
there's always hope in life~ pple are juz afraid to try.. too negative abt tis world.. always tinking that the world is agst them, out to kill/torment them.. (in actual fact we are the ones killing n tormenting this beautiful world ard us)

wat's the worst case scenario if u try?
at most u fail, pick urself up n move on.. (no big deal)
u'll know that u have tried n given it ur best shot (maybe not best but at least u tried yeah?)

wat's the worst case scenario if u dun try?
u'll never be able to achieve what u set out to accomplish
u'll never know if you might have achieve it
u'll lose confidence in trying to accomplish something u felt unattainable nxt time
visicous cycle kicks in...

moral of the story?
as long as u always dare to try, you're safe.

so, u'll never die from trying but u might if u dun~

the world is beautiful~ realli.

-R

My 22nd Birthday

2006-03-29T13:05:00.000-08:00

It's that once a year celebration of my existence in this beautiful world and i'll like to say that i felt really blessed. Thanks!

I'll be having a get-together session at the Americana apartments this Friday night (either by the pool or in the function room) to count my blessings.

Date: 31st March, 2006 (Friday)
Time: Pacific Night time
Venue: The Americana Apartments, Mountain View, CA, USA.

It's an Open tentative invite but do not get your expectations too high reg what we'll have there besides me. =) Do leave a comment here to RSVP.

Open up your mind

2006-03-29T12:03:00.001-08:00

There's been some talk on sgentrepreneurs about if Singapore can ever be another Silicon Valley. Having lived, worked and studied in both places, this question has already plagued me sometime ago. Here's my response:

Many singaporeans cannot visually imagine what they can possibly achieve. In order to not fall short of expectations, they rather not give it a shot. Statistics may have proven that you’ll fail 99% of time venturing out on ur own but when 99% of the pple are in the finance industry, that’s where the competition is and where u’ll get killed esp if u’re not passionate abt it.

An outsider view of Stanford’s life is different from an insider perspective but the culture in Stanford definitely breeds the entrepreneurial spirit. Perhaps that’s what we want to instil in Singaporeans. To believe that there is not one model answer, one standard path or route to success and when your mind opens up to all the possibilities out there, you might just find one that truly drives you.

Perhaps what it takes is just a 'paradigm shift' as they termed it. Simply put, it is just to be able to live up to your dreams, to open up your mind and look at all that infinite possibilities out there in every situation you face. Never assume, if you have to make one assumption, let it be that you will thrive. Your persistence to thrive coupled with your dare-to-try attitude will definitely pull you through and bring you closer to that world in your wildest dreams that you never imagined being.

first shot at golf

2006-03-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

went to walnut creek (buchanan fields) to have a shot at the 9 hole golf course for my first debut golf game. had previous experiences at the driving range but was the first time playing golf on the greens. sweet. All thanks to Rosey and KL, my host in the valley.

Golfing was not as easy as it seems and it's a game that requires skills, talent and luck.
Training and practice will help tremendously of course. There are many parallels that can be drawn from a golfing experience and it made me wonder how this sport draws people and businesses together. Amazing ain't it? Hopefully i'll have more opportunities to master this sport and par or be even better soon.

am going up to sacramento for my first business trip tmr. cool~ the first of many i hope. i do like the combination of travelling and business.

workaholic lifestyle

2006-03-07T00:43:00.000-08:00

always believed that there is a need to separate work and life out of work. that's why there are office hours and weekends. a balance is necessary, i think. but nowadays, it seems so hard to separate the 2. life seems to be intertwined with work and working seems like an escape from life too. was doing sch work in the weekend for 12 hour consec and stuck in office todae for more than 12 hrs straight. what a life?

the amazing thing is i realise i can be really devoted to work and working (the action itself). One can move from one fire to the other without any need for food or rest or any knowledge of the passage of time. If you enjoy your work, even better.

We often muse to ourselves the opportunity cost of not doing work but never did consider the opportunity cost of doing work. There is something you give up by working out of office hours. The time to exercise, sleep, spend time with loved ones, time for yourself.. but we never did consider the cost of such activities right? It's just a dinner i can make up another day, it's juz a gym session i can attend again, it's just.. it's just.. it's just an excuse man.

Can an enterepreneur ever have a life?? I'll like to think so. All the stories seems to evolve around entrepreneurs losing their loved ones, working long and hard in order to build a business. That can't be the only way out! Life outside work is equally important and influential to the quality of work you produce in those office hours. Be efficient and focused. Work on garnering your full energy to be fully engaged. I concur with the saying that it is not the amount of time you put in, but rather the amount of energy. Thus, be at the top level of your energy bar at all times. This requires constant recharging (just like the analogy of a cell phone).

How can we avoid falling into this routine? My CEO is a family man, a coach and he manages this delicate balance really well. Impressive. He still leaves early to attend his son's football match. I wish i could master it as well. I wish that my emotions will not be affected or run by other's actions or inactions. I wish that i can achieve my goal before i turn 22. I wish to discover the way to stay in balance, in shape and rediscover the energy i possess, to stop putting off hitting the gym again. I know that i have the endurance and will power to get through. I just need my energies and passions again, to make sense of what i am doing and move steadily, surely and tangibly towards my dreams.

Americana Move In

2006-02-27T01:19:00.000-08:00

Just moved in to americana over the weekend. The funny thing is it's more like 'just moved in to americana again'. After all, i crashed at this place for 2 weeks upon arrival to the States. Now, it felt different though. I recalled how i was like then and how i am now. A small cupboard space then and a whole room of stuff now that seems to be screaming for more space. A different set of thinking, mindset though it's still me ( a lot heavier though~). Determined to make sure i move out of Americana lighter than i entered 7 months ago (within a time span of 5months). Different in some ways yet the same child-like qualities. The same determined gal who's all ready to take on the world and leave her mark~ ha~ sometimes i wonder if it's all wishful thinking. Being a senior now showing the way to the juniors brought back memories of learning from my seniors. Funny how eager to share i am.

Been through quite a lot from the start of 2006, some ups and most downs.. but now, after the move, it felt like it's going to be a brand new start again. A look back to the past 7 months in the valley brought back so much mixed emotions it just seemed that a lifetime has passed by.

After reorganising my life, my workspace, my living space, my accumulated property and straightening out my thinking it's amazing how this change of environment evoke a change in perspective of things. Just wish to make good use of the remaining less than 5 months here, prepare for my Europe trip and continually count my blessings.

loving life and living it with love.

Elevator Pitch Win

2006-02-27T00:53:00.000-08:00

Coloreal won the Elevator Pitch Contest on Friday (Feb 24th, 2006) at Santa Clara University. The contest was organised by MBA-EC SCU & EBA and I did the pitch in representation of the team for 2 mins. The team then tackled the Q&A smoothly for 5 mins. =) Cool experience!
It was quite a pleasant surprise despite the fact that we were very well prepared for the contest which creates an unfair advantage for us.

Brings back memories of competing in school competitions, the nervousness, excitement, confidence, anticipation, exhilaration.. what a full swing of emotions for 3 hrs. Way to go team! Special thanks to supporters, advisors, mentors, lecturers (John Nesheim) and friends of Coloreal~ Esp those who helped in the brainstorming of the pitch till late and inspired me with some of the pitch contents. You guys made it possible! Hopefully we did NUS proud! =) It's a start and a long way to go ahead!

Coloreal made it into the semi-finals

2006-02-17T17:02:00.000-08:00

Having gone through the whole process of writing a business plan from scratch, Coloreal made it to the top 18 out of 77 teams to qualify for the semi-finals of BASES e-challenge.

Cool! Way to go team! =)

Let's talk about luv

2006-02-14T15:41:00.000-08:00

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
~ Mignon McLaughlin

Do you ever believe in fairy tale love stories? I'm not exactly sure how realistic the picture is but i guess some part of every gal still looks forward to sweet endings propagated by books, movies etc. i wish i'll neva lose sight of that...

We should celebrate the joy of love everyday. To love and be loved is a blessing indeed.

Happy Valentine's!

how indispensable are you?

2006-02-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

I often wonder how indispensable a person can be. Be it to your society, your organisation, your friends and family. We are influencing people around us all the time (no doubt) but life goes on with or without you. We are but just one pair of hands and feets that could be put to work, one mind of its own that could be tainted, one soul of its own that seeks comfort and recognition..

How indispensable is one? How indispensable are you compared to the guy next to you? It's part of life that people enter and depart from a phase of your life. At every stage of your life u gotta handle these arrivals and departures just like an airport controller, professionally. Yet, everyone of us seeks to be indispensable, seeks to be special, a unique individual whom leave an impression behind (hopefully positive). Will time erase memories of you from the world? Maybe you'll leave a blog behind to tell people of your life story but how many people truly care about your life? It is, ultimately, yours. probably they'll pay attention to parts where they themselves are brought up as references. maybe..

should we then hold on to the belief that we are indipensable? Will that provide us a driving force in life? Should we work on building our unfair advantage which might not be that unfair after all?

I am contemplating my value and contribution. How much am i worth? Will we be able to put a quantitative figure on our worth? Should we quantify it? Is it proportional to age and experiences? There must be a unique constant dependent on the individual too right? Something like Worth = k * Experience whereby k is a unique constant dependent on personality, gender, genes etc? Does a woman's worth/value degrade over time?

I'm passionate about having a business of my own by 30 (8 years time) but what and how? Will it ever be accomplished? I understand that i like to be in a strong management team and i am interested in business management, development and marketing. How do i get there? I'm still figuring out. Am i truly cut out for the job i like? i'll like to think so. I like to travel, meet diverse people, build ideas and face new encounters. Will my job satisfy that? I'm anxious to prove my worth and deep down i like to believe that i truly can.

shot to stare-dom

2006-01-19T14:28:00.000-08:00

well well.. how amazed i am to see some of my frens back in sec, jc taking part in competitions and becoming a 'star' overnight~

Secondary class mate:

http://www.bangzhi.com

2 out of 4 contestants i know (one sec classmate, one JC CCA mate):

Super Varsity Hosts

Secondary school mate:

http://xiaxue.blogspot.com

there are of cos many other examples whereby frens got a shot to fame somehow or the other. and i am really glad and happy for them. it's good to see ur frens moving closer to their dreams yeah?

let's hope we see more of such cases coming by and hopefulli it'll serve as a motivation and reminder for each of us that no dreams are out of reach.

It may be hard to perceive but never impossible to achieve.

Gambattae!!!

i-pod-ation

2006-01-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

Levi makes iPod controlling jeans: "Denim giant Levi Strauss designs a pair of jeans able to control the wearer's iPod music player."

i pod has even transformed your wardrobe? goodness!~

translucence

2006-01-14T17:05:00.000-08:00

How translucent are your thoughts?

with blogging i guess it's getting more and more transparent. It's rather startling to hear someone saying, "hey, you haven't updated your blog for a long time!" A mixed feeling of amazement, honour and puzzlement swept over.

for some, blogging has become a part of life, a form of expression, a marketing tool or simply an open virtual memory storage space.

some share daily experiences, world happenings, observations of life, random grumblings, deep-seated feelings, strong opinions, sudden inspirations, crazy ideas and/or plain bullshit.

it's 2006! a fresh new year ahead and a month of it almost gone. time runs out really fast! currently am engaged in a couple of good reads. Audio books has also became a larger part of life. A form of reading i didn't perceive acceptable before but am appreciating it much more now with the onset of the on-the-go lifestyle. Ultimately, how much information can you assimilate and how much do you takeaway from a book? What about as comparison to an audiobook? Do you assimilate more through reading or through listening? The tone and clarity of speech became a critical part of audiobook affecting how much you enjoy the book but for a book at hand, it's more freestyle and up to you own pace and preference.

Either way, i'm glad to be actively engaged in the world of words, opinions and ideas; be it virtually or verbally. Share to learn and learn to share. The virtue of being generous and giving is indeed a great one which i am constantly practicising. Sometimes the benefits of sharing is not obvious but i truly believe that it will always be beneficial to you to share. I am glad and appreciating the values my mom and pap has been inculcating in me from young.

Where does your energy comes from? Where does passion originate? How can one be so passionate about one thing and yet oblivious to the rest? Do you get more opinionated as you grow older? We should not let what we see out there, the cruel realities from blinding our vision of the good and the possibility of something better.

Stay young at heart and cherish the never-say-die spirit. =)

winter wonderland

2005-12-27T14:52:00.000-08:00

i love snow~ =) merry xmas!

went to tahoe for a white xmas! so surreal! it's amazing really... east coast muz be cool now.. can imagine rockerfella centre and times square.. wah.. too bad no time for post-xmas shopping though~ there's always another shopping day i guess~

disneyland was pretty cool too~ too bad missed the amazing fireworks up close.. sigh~ guess i gotta catch it at Florida next time?

guess wat? recieved a email from tickle to test my real colour.. ha~ guess wat colour it turns out to be??? RED!!! ha~ yeah, i'm truly red~ =P earth red.

new year's ahead and there's this ticklish, excited feeling again~ what lies ahead??? sadly it's the halfway mark for my stay in California~ time for evaluation~ hmm... it's cool to be hanging and bumming ard at home alone.. thinking, reflecting and recuperating.. (from my huge bruise from skiing)

there's gonna be fireworks in SF during countdown.. or isit fri? maybe i'll catch it~ always luv to see fireworks~ so pretty ain't they? juz missed home, family n frens badly~ if only you were here to share my joy and woes..

Through the Rain - Mariah Carey

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught
And in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be safe
but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can’t find your way home
You can get there alone, it’s ok
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you’ll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And sure they tell you
You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate
Stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I'll live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes you can
You’re gonna make it through the rain

Will Raine make it through the rain? =P Happy new year folks~

first impressions

2005-12-05T02:25:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how people form impressions of others..

Everyone of us probably project an external side of ourselves, some of which u hope people to see you as and some of which you do not.

not sure if it is a problem i face but pple seems to be getting 'wrong' impressions of me.. sigh.. how will i know it is 'wrong'? cos i know deep down in my heart that i'm not the way they think i am..

but that's how the world sees you.. when u're different from the norm.. (i dun like to be part of the norm though..) and i dun jump into conclusions abt pple quickly.. tend to accept pple the way they present themselves.. not sure if it's bad though cos it seems like i sometimes 'over-trust' pple..

it's crazy when the world don't treat you seriously.. as if you dun command or deserve the respect. I grow up under the influence of a strong value system and i do treasure the upbringing i've had.. it shapes my character and the way i am. .

but somehow or the other, people seem to be getting impressions of me that i dun like and that i never see myself as. sigh.. should i bother changing these wrong concepts? do i even have the capability to do so? Most of the time i prolly hate it when pple underestimate me but maybe it's not that bad a thing since you can surprise them when you 'over-perform'?

I like it when people commend sincerely about qualities of me that they discover along the way.. some positive and some negative of coz.. but you know it when they are able to spot certain qualities of yourself, speaking from their heart and telling you about it sincerely. Some of which you never know yourself. As for the superficial and surface impressions people formed about you.. sigh.. prolly it's not worth your time to try to explain yourself.. maybe they'll discover for themselves?

I'm a ENFJ, optimistic, proactive and likes to take charge of my life though sometimes unsure about which direction to take.. Perhaps i appear too strong-headed and sociable sometimes.. i like to interact with people and get to know about their unique set of experiences. . There's so much you can learn from others! I like to think out of the box and try new things, explore out-worldy and crazy ideas.. (some call it entrepreneurial spirit, at least i tink so) and enjoy each and every moment that i have, treasure people that matters to me (family and friends)... It's a blessing to be alive, well and kicking, healthy n fit (i hope so), ain't it?

i do wish to leave a good impression on others and hopefully some accurate and distinct characteristics of myself that will remind them of me (maybe whenever it rains?).. its like 'oh raine? you mean that ...... (smtg positive) gal?' i'll like pple to enjoy being around me just like i enjoyed being around people.. but i guess some things can't be forced. impressions for one. it takes an instant to form an impression but lotsa time to modify/realign it..

anyway, i do constantly look for constructive feedback and sincere reflections/comments. so next time you form impressions of me, do let me know how it's like and i'll let you know how accurate it's likely to be.. =)

What is my xmas wish?

2005-12-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

The alchemist says that if you want something so badly, the whole world conspires to help you achieve it.

Is it so?

What do i want so badly in my life? Something so bad that your life just feels incomplete without it? How will you know if you never had it?

I always have no issues thinking about my new year resolutions. Work hard for the next year, stay fit and healthy, lose weight, achieve some short-term objectives and move closer to long term goals.. but when it comes to xmas wish.. sometimes it's so hard to think of what exactly do i want..

Maybe i stopped deluding myself that Santa Claus will grant me my wish, drop me my pressie from the chimney (which i never had) and into the red stocking (which i never hang up) or under the xmas tree (which i never decorated).

Maybe..

I love christmas and how it uplifts the spirits of people. The world just feel different during christmas time (just like how different it felt on Valentine's) . Maybe i just like seasons of love, festivals celebrating the joy of life and the fact that you are being loved and cherished. It's sweet to know that you are thought of during such times (that's why receiving xmas cards are such a joy to me) but nowadays with technology, sending mailed cards seems to be phasing out soon.. sigh~ no more personal handwriting and signature.. seem to be getting lesser and lesser xmas cards as i grow old but not more and more e-cards though.. wad happened?

All i want for christmas is... You! (btw, pls intro, who are you?)

a new start

2005-12-01T17:11:00.000-08:00

my first post on blogspot.
it marks the start of a new page of my life as i reorganise myself n convince myself to focus on what i want to get out of my stay here in CA and my life.
Fun, it has been so far but after the farewell dinner last night and as 2006 draws near, i really feel that i've been under-utilising myself! and i dun have much time left to waste! sigh~ should i push myself to my limits? i have to i guess...

Need to start reorganising my life, re-prioritising what's important and what i should do with my life. I hate it when people look down on my capabilities and think that gals are bimbos with no brains. oh come on! guess i gotta prove them wrong?

We all have a promising future ahead of us and after 21 years of my life, it's time to gear up and move up to the next notch of life. The new stage awaiting for us all. Somehow i gotta prove my worth to myself and all who are betting on my failure. No point lingering on to the past and what could have been. No point complaining about my work, my pay and my life. We all only have one shot to prove ourselves and it is not now, when should it be?

Focus, focus, focus!!! It's so hard to do so with so mani distractions along the way but discipline is the key. There's so much you can do in the valley. You prolly can't do all in this one year span but we should focus on what we want most and at least achieve that. I dun want to look back half a year later contemplating what i have done so far? After close to 5 months i'm still in a whirlwind, spinning around nowhere in particular. Precious time is lost. The only thing i can do now is to chart my desired direction ahead and stick to it as much as possible. Detours may occur, breaks may come by for u to rest your feet, distractions may cause you to delay but one thing all of us have to do is to move on. Through good and bad times, uphill or downslope, rain or shine.

I may not be able to update this blog as much as i wish to but i wanna make sure that it's bcos i'm actively engaged with my life and striving hard. There's so much i want to achieve in my life! and of cos stay in good shape and health along the way.

Gambattae GAL! Rock the world!